When Women Cheat

23:16





Last day, when I was alone in the guidance office, a female college student (whose face I’m not familiar with) entered the office and sat in the chair next to me. To my surprise, she asked me something about cheating. She says her boyfriend cheats on her and she wanted to do the same to revenge.

Without a thought, I just uttered, “The most painful thing that a girl could do to her guy is to cheat on him. Unfortunately, it is also the most painful thing she’ll ever do to herself.”

You know, in our society it is acceptable for men to cheat on his girlfriend because he’s a male. By doing so, people see his power, authority, and masculinity. But if a woman cheats, it doesn’t work the same. I understand that you feel like you are taken for granted and it can be unfair. In fact, IT IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR. Double-standard, isn’t it?

If a man cheats on his girl, he degrades her. If a woman cheats on her guy, she degrades herself even more.

I wanted to really talk to her about it and probably scold her for having thought of getting even. But I didn’t want to sound like preaching. So I stopped and allowed her to just express all her heartaches whilst I was just there and listening to every pin-like story that punctures a fragile girl.

Then she asked me “What should I do? I love him.”

I was mute. I didn’t know what to answer. I felt so sorry for her. My dear readers, I need your help. I’m not so good at giving advices. What do you think should she do?


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18 comments

  1. for me as a girl,if I was her case, I will not revenge my boyfriend , what goes around comes back around. JUST BE HERSELF, and prove that she is not that kind of girl(CHEATER). Karma will do that for her as a revenge :D

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  2. I don't think she should fight fire with fire because it'll only escalate the problem. Maybe a proper confrontation would be better?

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  3. This topic is really amazing Sir Yuri.

    In her story, she never mentioned that he talked about the cheating scene with her boyfriend. The point is they should have a good conversation regarding this matter and she should tell him how she felt. Getting revenge will only make it worst. cheating is not a good thing because its a type of betrayal. She should not go down from her pedestal by doing the cheating stuff. If she really love him, she must accept the fact that guys are just that but not all of them.
    "when you start to love someone,you also accept everything about him whether good or evil."

    SJ

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  4. Be strong girl :)

    SJ

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  5. my opinion for this case is to confront the guy and ask what is their problem. try to patch things up.in a relationship, you cannot give and give and take and take. it should be give and take for the relationship to be balance. there is something wrong in the scene, if the guy loves the girl, he wont do anything stupid to ruin their relationship, vice versa. if the guy cheats, it means that this guy is not satisfied on what the girl gives, or there is something missing that the guy couldn't find to his girl. better know what is it and find solution to the that problem. if the girl cheats, she could say equal but in the long run, she would feel disgrace about what she did. love wont last if the feeling is slowly fading. I've been there. and its hard to say goodbye but i did. for it will be the better for the two of us. its not easy. i mean it. if you love the person so much, but it hurts you so bad that you cant find anymore reason to stay, then better let go. if you guys agreed and find solution to the problem, so forgive and forget even though it is already done and had a mark on your heart, find ways to have a better relationship for the second time around. don't bring up the past or anything that will trigger again that leads to mis understanding. 3 words will best describes the relationship for me. Love, love one another as you love yourself, Trust, trust your partner and be more open to any ideas that you would discuss.and Companionship, you should be more sensitive to your partner so that your relationship will be more happy and successful.

    just my opinion.:D
    http://www.facebook.com/tryflood

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  6. Wow! Those are beautiful insights coming from you guys. Thanks a lot. Surely I will let her read these advices from you coz I'm pretty sure this would help her. (^.^)

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  7. For me, cheating is an unforgivable act in a relationship. I grew up hearing about stories about my uncles cheating. I saw how cheating ruined families and caused a lot of heartaches. I think if you're boyfriend cheats on you, you should let him go and spare yourself more heartaches in the future. If he cannot respect you now, what more when you're married? Find a man who only loves you. Letting go will hurt but you will get over it. Promise. :)

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  8. Thanks for that wonderful advice Mich. Ako, I've always believed that if a person was able to cheat on you once, s/he can do it again and again. well, that's my personal point of view.

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  10. Precisely Choi. It totally degrades us girls, charot. Haha. Anyway, I guess she should confront her partner. We don't have to do the same, always think for the solution.

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  11. you were right, if she will also cheat, she will onle degrade herself... it is my greatest wish that every girl would realize their self worth specially when they're in a relationship, that once the guy cheats on her it only means one thing, he didnt see her value and there's no more reason for her to stay in that relationship... there's soooooo much to experience in the world than waste your time in an ugly relationship...

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  12. I consider all advices. I think they are all good ones. It's just that I also consider that she said "I love him." I know how it feels when all people, including yourself, are telling you to let go and you try so hard to do it but you just can't.

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  13. I definitely agree with the string of comments here Crush. If it happened to me, I don't think I'll ever go back to that relationship with him despite my love for him. In time, all heartaches will heal.

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  14. There must be an explanation to everything. Something a good conversation can heal if both parties indeed values the relationship. ;)

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  15. Yuri, you impress me! I agree with your thoughts and I appreciate you still believe in what is right! I hope someone can help her process these negative thoughts such as cheating to revenge cheating! We hope the young people now would still have supportive people around them to guide them on what is right... or choose the better choice and most of all, to guide them to love themselves and make themselves better persons for themselves... that if the guy cheats, it is actually HIS LOSS! Young ladies, be thankful if he cheated while you are still not married... he may not be worth it... OR you may not be for each other!

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  16. Thank you Pinay. :)
    I think it's really better to know these things as early as you're not married yet. It saves you. It's God's way of saying that Hey! He is not for you.

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  17. I don't really know what to say except that it's really wrong to get even with somebody who has wronged you or something like it. Right now it's really similar to that AMALAYER girl. As if "returning the favor" is really a solution. But you really did the right thing and just let her express her side. :)

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  18. Confrontation is the best thing to do. :)

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